I'll show you my blog.

Internet friendships are hard.

Sun, 08 Nov 2009 10:19:38 -0500

Internet friendships are hard.

I’d start taking bets now on how long before the neighbors...

Sat, 07 Nov 2009 17:22:27 -0500

I’d start taking bets now on how long before the neighbors call the cops, but the neighbors burn more 2-liter bottles in a week than I burn wood in a year.

So.

“The Paris of Appalachia” indeed, my brand...

Fri, 06 Nov 2009 22:39:50 -0500

“The Paris of Appalachia” indeed, my brand spankin’ new Pittsburgh driveway fire pit.

You know what else is "highly configurable?"

Fri, 06 Nov 2009 10:04:00 -0500

"Defending Traditional Families is the new States’ Rights."

Thu, 05 Nov 2009 10:07:43 -0500

“Defending Traditional Families is the new States’ Rights.”

- @ccsteff

And now for something completely different.

Wed, 04 Nov 2009 16:19:17 -0500

And now for something completely different.

A quick note about the meaning of grades

Wed, 04 Nov 2009 15:42:00 -0500

First quarter report cards came home today.

If you have kids in elementary school, you may be forgiven for wondering what happened to the grades: C, D, and F. When I was younger, the debate was whether C meant “average” or “you got 75% of the answers correct.” No more. Nowadays, grades are all about performance compared to “grade level expectations.” It’s not enough to build expectations into course material and exams. Actual grades have to be expressed in terms of the norm as well. Think about that for a few minutes. Let it sink in. It’s devastating.

Alright. Here’s the new math:

Advanced (A) - Exceeds grade level expectations

Proficient (P) - Performing at grade level expectations

Basic (B) - Progressing towards grade level expectations

Below Basic (BB) Improvement needed to meet grade level expectations

So, look: I don’t know what any of these really mean. Depending on how far grade level expectations have slipped, my kids could be earning A’s while failing to learn a thing. It wouldn’t be the first time I’d seen such inflation at my kids’ school.

Why does this bug me? Well, picture our kids’ future: Outmoded notions like excellence, mediocrity, and failure have been discarded. The drive to excel has been muted by our evolved inability to define excellence in the first place. My kids have grown up, not knowing the triumphant feeling of having really nailed something, but instead striving to say to themselves, “at least I did better than the rest of these chumps.” And why not? Raises and promotions are given out on exactly this basis, even as the businesses of tomorrow unwittingly race one another to the bottom of an ever deepening achievement pit.

And I’m about 70, and I’ve had two strokes already, having watched our culture crumble far faster than I’d ever imagined it would. So I’m driving to the one brick and mortar pharmacy left in town, to try to get my ancient Clotnomor script filled before another week goes by. It’s a retro place - built in the 2030’s as a kind of Hard Rock Café tribute to big pharma government - but by some legislative quirk, it’s allowed to fill prescriptions. Sure, they only stock a handful of drugs, and most are only there as props and are fifteen years past their expiration date, but they’re better than taking my chances with standard meds. Those pills from OmniAll Pharmaceuticals, no one knows what you’re going to find in them.

Everyone’s honking and passing me as I drive. I get the finger 20 times inside of a two minute span. It’s like that one old film movie with that Wilson brother, I think. But I’m doing 85 mph and that’s more than fast enough. These impatient kids can stuff it. And they do! A quarter mile up the road, it’s as if the cars are just disappearing. And in the final seconds that pass before I, too, plunge over the edge of the unmarked, destroyed bridge, I remember when I first realized the world was going to hell. It was 1990. I was a freshman at the School of the Art Institute of Chicago. My 4-D class watched as Shane concluded his performance piece by shitting on the classroom floor. I gagged and smiled. It was so disgusting, a flagrant middle finger at the very idea of art. Yet it was received with adulation by nearly everyone in that classroom audience. In fact, I recall, Shane’s “piece” was awarded an A.

And that was back when an A meant something.

Dear "effiency"-obsessed health insurance monopoly,

Wed, 04 Nov 2009 12:31:00 -0500

Thanks, Matt. That 4th password reset finally worked, although it took several attempts and I experienced errors along the way. (One such screen shot attached.)

Overall, filling out this form was hands-down the single worst technology-assisted process I have ever experienced. That’s a mouthful too, because as a UX professional, I go looking for user experiences at both ends of the quality spectrum. I am not exaggerating when I declare this the worst. It is simply, profoundly abominable.

From the OS and browser constraints, to the authentication issues, to the form design, to the confusion over whether or not clicking next (when there’s a save button right next to it) will erase my data, to the intrusive workflow - I mean, Matt, ALL THE WAY AROUND, THIS THING STINKS.

I can only hope that [insurer] offers CONSIDERABLE discounts to organizations that subject their staff to this misery.

Still, thank you for your help getting in. It’s a mixed thanks, considering what horror awaited me on the other side, but without your help I never would have been able to complete my application.

Sincerely, Geoff

Jason's dilemma

Wed, 04 Nov 2009 10:02:12 -0500

Jason, you might want to ask Adam and Jesse for a second opinion here - after all, this is rightfully their domain of expertise. But my strong opinion is that, if the meeting is truly important to you, you should make sure to wear your very best leaf blower.

Dilemma

Wed, 04 Nov 2009 09:43:54 -0500

suburbanreport:

Unexpectedly have something this afternoon with someone it would behoove me to impress. Not knowing of this meeting when I got dressed this morning, I threw on a b-or-maybe-c level suit. Should I instantly, in a self-deprecatingly amusing way. apologize for my shabby appearance? Or should I just be confident and project that even when I look like crap, I look darn good?

My lord, that’s a lot of set-up for a dumb GPOYW post. Just post the picture already.

cnnwtf: Fueled by gubernatorial wins, GOP takes Leer jet to...

Wed, 04 Nov 2009 09:41:49 -0500

cnnwtf:

Fueled by gubernatorial wins, GOP takes Leer jet to Bismark for raucous “Back to Greek Week” victory celebrations.

Or, as Jason put it: “No comment required.”

Big Brother is alive and well in Venezuela

Wed, 04 Nov 2009 08:09:05 -0500

Big Brother is alive and well in Venezuela:

guillee:

Everyone who wishes to use their yearly allocation of dollars for traveling will have to submit a sworn statement, through the Commission of Currency Administration’s (CADIVI) website, to obtain the approval to use foreign currency, and a second sworn statement when they return, to prove that all the expenses were made in the approved destination.

In case the traveler decides to change their destination, or make a stop along the way, and uses his or her credit card, CADIVI will assume that the user committed fraud against the nation. It will have the two sworn statements to support the accusation and consequently may open legal proceedings after permanently blocking their currency allocation.

In short, I have to notify the venezuelan government of where and when I’m traveling. The venezuelan government will decide if I have permission to travel to those places. The venezuelan government will decide how much money I’m allowed to spend on those trips, up to a maximum of $2,500 a year. If I step out of the place I said I would go to, or stay beyond the date I said I would return (because I missed my flight or whatever), or use my money in any way they don’t consider “legitimate,” then the venezuelan government will consider me a criminal, I would face jail time and fines, and lose access to foreign currency.

What a great dictatorship we have here.

What’s a Nice Girl Like You Doing in a Place Like This? A...

Tue, 03 Nov 2009 16:38:02 -0500

What’s a Nice Girl Like You Doing in a Place Like This?

A 1963 short film that Martin Scorsese created while a student at New York University’s Tisch School of the Arts. It is a comedic piece about a writer who becomes obsessed with a ~~picture~~ social networking website he has on his ~~wall~~ computer. (via wikipedia)

"If we have experiences with an eye toward the expectation that in the next five minutes, we’re..."

Tue, 03 Nov 2009 15:29:00 -0500

““If we have experiences with an eye toward the expectation that in the next five minutes, we’re going to tweet them, we may choose difference experiences to have, ones that we can talk about rather than ones we have an interest in,” he said.”

-

Do digital diaries mess up your brain? - CNN.com

Music haters anonymous

Mon, 02 Nov 2009 08:24:00 -0500

You’d think I hate music.

But I don’t, really. I like music. I like it a lot more than my listening habits or equipment have indicated for a long time now. When I was growing up, people had 8-tracks or records. One eccentric old dude in my neighborhood had a reel-to-reel setup that blew my mind. On the other end of the spectrum, casette tapes were coming into vogue. In the 70’s and 80’s, though, I had vinyl like everyone else who cared about how their music sounded. And as anyone from that era will happily parrot, vinyl sounded great. But you couldn’t play it in your car or your Walkman. So as I remember it, my family allowed cassette tapes into our life, grudgingly accepting a huge quality hit in exchange for portability.

When the CD arrived, I remember being hopeful. It promised record-quality music in a virtually indestructible format. It wasn’t portable just yet, but you couldn’t gaze upon one of those shimmering little discs without imagining a CD Walkman in the near future. “DDD” became the holy grail imprint on every CD I bought. Sony had done it again. I was turning Japanese.

Tethered to vinyl only by an oversized love of hip hop music and all things sampling, I essentially migrated my entire music listening experience to CD. That era lasted nearly 20 years, ending in a months-long effort in 2004 to create more space in my shrinking house by moving my music collection to the computer.

When I ripped and sold on eBay the majority of my 1000+ CD collection to 320VBR MP3 tracks, I closed the book on what had long been my favorite setup: a nice 1990’s issue Denon receiver & CD player and a killer set of well-matched, Polk Audio speakers. I sold the CD player for a pittance on Craigslist, and relegated the remainder of the setup to the role of television noise maker, delivering hi-fi Dora and Bob the Builder experiences to my little ones and occasionally enhancing my own enjoyment of ~~crack cocaine~~ the TV show, 24.

Naturally, my music listening habits contracted to reflect the quality and location of the playback devices. My best sounding option is currently a pair of decent headphones at my computer. The most ubiquitous - my iPod through the profoundly flat, crappy stock sound system in my 2007 Jetta. In my living room, there’s a nice (nice for what it is) Klipsch iPod dock, but let’s be honest - it’s a boom box. And so I’ve come to be living a lo-fi life. Which would be fine, I guess, but in my mind I’m still waiting for CDs to sound as rich as records.

So I started looking around this weekend, for a bookshelf stereo for my living room. To replace the iPod dock. To give some sound back to the parts of the house where we spend the very most of our time here. To give the few CDs I still have a fair shake of ever, ever being heard. And to give myself a reason to SIT DOWN from time to time and listen attentively to the genius of so many artists I’ve come only to hear in the background, muffled, muted, and distorted.

One candidate is the Denon M37 shelf system. It’s small, but gorgeous, gets fantastic reviews, and seems reasonably priced for its quality. But I haven’t heard it, and I’m finding it impossible to drop three or four hundred bucks on a sound system without hearing it.

Which is strange, considering how accustomed I’ve become to my 128Kbps life.

Look, conflict resolution is a SKILL. (Classes start in...

Sat, 31 Oct 2009 22:03:44 -0400

Look, conflict resolution is a SKILL. (Classes start in January.)

Happy Hallowhatever, as long as you check your candy bars for...

Sat, 31 Oct 2009 19:02:33 -0400

Happy Hallowhatever, as long as you check your candy bars for razor blades.

Hey, Shane, you’re doing it wrong!

Fri, 30 Oct 2009 15:08:26 -0400

Hey, Shane, you’re doing it wrong!

Between Jason’s micturation sequence and Jim’s iron...

Fri, 30 Oct 2009 14:43:21 -0400

Between Jason’s micturation sequence and Jim’s iron chef salute, I’ve already had to rinse off twice this afternoon. What handsome collection of dirty and irreverent lunatics.

seoulbrother: Sometimes @gruber is right. Holy shit,...

Fri, 30 Oct 2009 14:06:34 -0400

seoulbrother:

Sometimes @gruber is right.

Holy shit, it’s 3 minutes, 12 seconds of ~~telling~~ showing it like it is.