I'll show you my blog.

What we talk about when we talk about fear

• Conner: Dad? Did you hear that?
• Me: Hear what?
• Conner: That siren with the ringing sound. Like an alarm.
• Me: Uhh, no.
• Conner: I'm serious, Dad. I wonder where it came from.
• Me: If you're suggesting it came from the spider in the shower...
• Conner: I'm serious, Dad. It's the most likely explanation for a sound like that. Monkey spiders always shriek just before they attack.
• Dad, I'm serious. I reeaaaallly don't think I should go in there.
• You don't want me to DIE, do you? What do you think will happen to me if I invade the territory of an angry monkey spider!?
• ...Well???
• Me: (disinterested silence)
• Conner: Dad, I can tell you're going to Twitter this. You're going to Twitter me dying in the shower from a monkey spider attack.
• Me: It's awfully tempting, kiddo.