I'll show you my blog.

No female with such an object affixed to her forehead has...

Mar 4th

Period attire mismatch. Your argument is invalid. (via...

Mar 4th

If you’re anywhere near NYC Thursday, March 12, you...

Mar 3rd

Watch

So many FBI hats. http://twitter.com/hotdogsladies/status/1274303824

Mar 3rd

Please note that this is valid...

Curse outsourcing. This argument should be invalid. brettkelly: setTimeout(buildMyUI,0);

Mar 3rd

This man’s breath smells like spearmint unicorn farts....

Mar 3rd

Does ShamWow pay you via PayPal, or do you have to invoice...

Mar 3rd

[redacted]

YOUR ARGUMENT IS INVALID. daniellei: I tried to post a totally awesome video for you, but the...

Mar 3rd

Jack couldn’t bear to be left out of the oversharing...

Mar 3rd

You’ve got a sock puppet, Jason, this much is true....

Mar 3rd

Watch

I could have said, “No, Alex. You can go upstairs and get your camera by yourself. It’s...

Mar 2nd

Perfect banana bread

Ingredients 1.82 cups flour 1/4 cups lightly salted butter 2 mashed up, sort of brown bananas 7/8...

Mar 2nd

I’d almost go for this, but I prefer my dry cleaning...

Mar 2nd

Um, Dora?

Mar 2nd

Listen

And here’s the original track that inspired Morrissey. I think you can see why.

Mar 2nd

Listen

Morrissey covers 50 Cent. A capella. RARE.

Mar 1st

And Subaru rebates the smugness.

Mar 1st

Compare People, the longer version

Ever get an email like this from Facebooks “Compare People?” Your friends have voted...

Mar 1st

“A beautiful grad student named Tara Simmons is abducted by...”
— Way too often I think I have a...

Feb 28th

“The vitamins make me strong enough to use the wrench to tie...”
— @aedison’s desk. on...

Feb 28th

Fine scotch doesn’t just enter your life casually. It...

Feb 28th

There’s a point where you begin to get a feel for the...

Feb 28th

People are always saying, “My soul’s like an...

Feb 28th

Considering the banana, this one’s caption pretty much...

Feb 28th

Oh mercy, it’s the sermon on the mount.

Feb 28th

Okay Pajama Bingo, but you’ll never ID us.

Feb 28th

Another inevitable meeting.

Feb 27th

A pretty obvious point in the progression.

Feb 27th

So, to answer monkeyfrog’s question, yeah, I was...

Feb 27th

When you’re painting with these made-up signs (you can’t...

Feb 27th

On some days, the lemons were less ugly and seemed more...

Feb 27th

So, at the same time I was obsessively painting beautiful...

Feb 27th

Oh man, the luminosity of a fresh Paxil bottle. ...

Feb 27th

It is a well-known tradition for painters to make portraits...

Feb 27th

And what rocket hovers in wait! Interesting design. Probably...

Feb 27th

Of course the students look up to him. His skin is so soft...

Feb 26th

Unrelated to “plaster rock and roll penis...

Feb 26th

Cynthia Plaster Caster Interview - One on One It’s...

Feb 26th

Um, guys, I think that tube is hurting the patient. He...

Feb 26th

Nowhere else on this site do they explicitly tout their...

Feb 25th

But its last orgy was a good one. (The...

Feb 25th

No catch diseases either.

Feb 25th

Listen

If you love showtunes and wholesomeness as much as I do, you’ll love the new Fireland Podcast....

Feb 24th

BBC Reading List

To my surprise, I’ve read 46 of these, which (pathetic though it may be) I’m pretty...

Feb 24th

“Your days of hallucinogenic drug use are behind you,...”
— If, like the total wuss above,...

Feb 23rd

Watch

The embedded video really tells you everything you need to know about McDonalds, with one exception:...

Feb 23rd

insooutso: Buy it HERE.

Feb 23rd

HOMEOWNER?? The lack of imagination down in post-production...

Feb 23rd

Rebels, AMIRITE?  Always missing the point. ...

Feb 23rd

Portrait (unfinished) of Troy Wandzel

Feb 22nd

Technology gets cheaper as it becomes more broadly adopted....

Feb 22nd

“Chakra 2 body mist February 18, 2009 “This is my...”
— This is what all the hardcore...

Feb 22nd

Suffice it to say I took this earlier this evening. And...

Feb 21st

From InSoOutSo: Create your own band and debut album cover...

Feb 20th

Because nothing says “What I meant to say is I love...

Feb 20th

Wow, crazy! That looks exactly like my Target! ...

Feb 20th

They say hindsight is 20/20. (via jimray)

Feb 20th

Your father’s shoes? You’ll never fill them. And...

Feb 20th

I’ve used worse excuses to take weekend trips to...

Feb 20th

Visitor’s Note

Feb 20th

Everyone’s had at least one camping trip end like...

Feb 20th

Basically every relationship I’ve ever been in.

Feb 19th

The fall of Elmo.

Feb 19th

Lovers.

Feb 19th

An older self portrait.

Feb 19th

“Yeah, same model as yours. Only covered in solid...

Feb 19th

Shronge™: The sponge that's made out of...

If you’re anything like me, you’ve probably spent far too many of your own dinner...

Feb 19th

Ahh, the golden age of barely subliminal eros in...

Feb 19th

Whiteboard Widget #3: Blame Widget This one totally fucks...

Feb 19th

Whiteboard Widget #2: BlendGuessr* Another office...

Feb 19th

Whiteboard widgets, #1: The iBrew Coffee Widget, version...

Feb 18th

Whiteboard widgets, #1: The iBrew Coffee Widget Tester...

Feb 18th

Well this sure clears up a few things.

Feb 18th

“A more advanced technique is letting the water in through...”
— And if you master Advanced...

Feb 18th

Watch

Hahaha, cultural stereotypes.

Feb 18th

Feb 18th

“After decades of economic mismanagement and resource...”
— CIA - The World Factbook...

Feb 17th

“If any South Korean citizen tries to visit North Korea...”
— Korea Reunification From the...

Feb 17th

Take the captioning of mundane snapshots, for instance.

Feb 16th

Feb 14th

Listen

Love is a word for suckers, suckers. Blood Suckers. Happy Valentines Day.

Feb 14th

She rode the F Train and it rear ended a rental car....

Feb 14th

If I had anything on my body as disproportionately long as...

Feb 12th

Listen

Good thing I bought this Tumblr iPhone app.

Feb 12th

The tyranny of effortless action

One of my favorite thought games to play involves making up Buddhism jokes. Yesterday I was riding a...

Feb 12th

silversmith: A 42-year-old HIV patient with leukemia...

Feb 12th

The presence of this comic could have raised the level of...

Feb 12th

I think I know this one’s brother.

Feb 11th

This is one of the reasons I love twitter. A kind of...

Feb 10th

Feb 9th

Was reminded today of painter Walter Tandy Murch by...

Feb 9th

Incredible. Just gorgeous. No wonder this brings Alina so...

Feb 9th

One Sunday morning, your computer won't...

Do you: A) Invoke the names of calculators and toaster ovens to resurrect your computer? B) Be...

Feb 9th

“Magical thinking, medievalism, and anti-reason. Are we...”
— The horror that is having...

Feb 9th

Watch

The conspiracy is much, much deeper than I’d realized.

Feb 9th

Arrive Having Eaten on iTunes

Feb 6th

Watch

And they say individualism is dead.

Feb 6th

Lyle Lovett & John Hiatt

For three hours last night, Julie and I watched these two masters collaborate with, challenge, and...

Feb 6th

Listen

It may be the only song you can post without permission and reasonably believe they would be afraid...

Feb 5th

Watch

Useless. No tutorial value whatsoever.

Feb 5th

What a great metaphor. yourmonkeycalled: School In a...

Feb 4th

Priceless and awesome. luckyshirt: Easter can’t get here...

Feb 4th

Wow, you mean I can post pithy interrogatories like this one directly from a dashboard widget?

Feb 4th

If you’re not getting this yet, refresh your inbox by...

Feb 4th

I could really go for a grand slam right now. And...

Feb 3rd

“The likelihood of you surviving, you know, decreases...”
— And thus, I am forced to...

Feb 3rd

Watch

Actually, I figure each puppy means 1000 apologies. merlin: Let’s Active - “Every Word Means No”

Feb 3rd

Watch

Aw, I can’t tell if this is touching or hilarious or both. gordonshumway: No, I don’t want to...

Feb 2nd

Who Is On Twitter

Feb 1st

Watch

How To Make Stuff You Would Otherwise Buy Chapter 2: Human Testing Bacon Fat Moisturizer In...

Feb 1st