October 2008
Legis-Lax™ Because congressional difficulty passing shitty bills affects us all.
I’m thinking that maybe “recession proof” is a label a lot of fund managers are starting to feel squeamish about. Just maybe.
Had not 1, but 2, pairs of parachute pants. And sleeveless cutoff shirts. And could breakdance & was in a rap group. #MY_3_MIN_FROM_JR_HIGH
September 2008
“Consumers are major shapers of the U.S. economy. If they retrench, the country will go into a tailspin.” SHOP FOR YOUR LIVES!
Parents know that moment, when upon taking a deep breath in the kids’ room, you realize those bedsheets were peed in months ago.
OH: We’re overshooting ourselves in the foot.
I guess we took that whole “new economy” euphemism a bit too seriously.
What with the economy like it is, I figured I’d put my kids to work being cute: http://tinyurl.com/4thohe
Jammer sighting. 8:50 AM
Baby Bumble Bee →
A new take on an old classic. Yes, Conner’s totally over it, but that’s what the sedatives do. And now for a sharp turn deep into mundane silliness… Posted in Life Tagged: Baby Bumble Bee, Barnes…
Lunch. Colangelo’s. Now.
Roger Ebert uses common sense, uninvites one of the presidential candidates to dinner… http://tinyurl.com/4nckdy
Oh calm down people, the Internet will fix this mess.
Free editing advice: Your I ♥ SARAH bumper sticker would more succinctly deliver its message if reworded: LOOK MOM NO BRAIN.
I see you, terrible sinus headache now 2 days old.
My 9 year old just laid out the smackdown proof for why Pegasus is more plausible than a unicorn. Actually has wings. ACTUALLY.
Holy smokes! Selling Thomas the Tank Engine stuff on Craigslist is almost as easy as cracking Palin jokes. Almost.
BREAKING NEWS: Congress releases a $700B bailout bill draft. You can read it on CNN.com. And weep wherever you want.
You may think dry, flat, & hot are related, & in the desert I’d agree. But on the label of that sweater, DRY FLAT has its very own meaning.
Unrelated: Brand new 100% combed cotton men’s size SM burgundy sweater for sale. Perfect condition, except for size mislabeled as MED.
How does a near-complete freeze on government spending not equal a government shutdown? Beats me. I’m John McCain & I approve this message.
Checking eBay for Alaska, after reading this morning that congress had reached a breakthru on the bailout negotiations.
Dear 900 PSI of sinus pressure behind my left eye: Don’t you have something better to do? Like be a special effect in a Bruckheimer movie?
If I were to live tweet this cartoon -Kirby- my kids are watching, you’d all die laughing. The subtext could make the Village People blush.
Why does everyone keep calling him ‘Bama?
The brownies I baked are a hit! I don’t think anyone would imagine the egg was 8 months old. At least not without help from a toxicologist.
I heard McCain was coached extensively to avoid blurting out: “I didn’t come here to debate with you, young man!”
I let my kids watch the debates last night, and today I’ve heard multiple conflicts handled by saying THAT’S NOT TRUE, JOHN.
I look at Jim Lehrer and inexplicably I think: FEATURES CONFIGURABLE EYES AND EYEBROWS.
Throwing over half the remaining toys in the DONATIONS bin to take to RedWhite&Blue. Happiness is less stuff.
Jim Lehrer looks like he was plucked from a David Park painting and stuffed into a suit. He’s probably still wearing his swim trunks too.
Remember what happened to Pheidippides when he finished the very first marathon? No? Well John McCain does. Personally. #experience
I wonder if an EMP detonation would actually *hurt.* Because if not, I bet it would make a great hard-reset option for my frozen computer.
Maybe I don’t know what debate is, but that seemed more like couples counseling than anything else.
Idea to help fund the bailout: Sell Alaska. If we promise to remove Palin from it, I bet we can recoup the entire $7M we originally paid.
McCain flunked out of finishing school after Obama wrecked the curve at midterms.
When I’m feeling lousy about the world, I find solace in the beauty & innocence of my kids - who, by the way, this bailout is gonna screw.
The real winner this election cycle: the word DIPSHIT, which is set to experience a breathtaking resurgence during the next 40 days.
Actually, I don’t know squat about the bailout plan. Or the economy. Which is why I’ve decided to run for president and things such as.
QED
Maybe the funniest Favrd page I’ve ever seen is MCHammer’s. I SAID MAYBE. http://www.textism.com/favrd/person/mchammer
Palin’s superpower is making Bush appear to have heretofore unknown mastery of the English language.
TAKES CARE OF BUSINESS
Foreign policy experience? At lunch time? HUNGARY AS USALLY. I’m Sarah Palin and I’m, you know, in approval except for such as.
I’m thinking now that I’m just going to do a write-in vote for a new iPod & some noise-canceling headphones. You know, to tune out the B.S.
Palin’s lousy, but “Lipstick on a turd” takes it too far. So I stood up for her! …Only to learn my buddy wasn’t referring to her. Awkward.
Sarah Palin’s principal qualification appears thus far to be that she makes Matthew McConaughey sound brilliant & sober by comparison.
Moved all my funds to the Bank of My Pillowcase. It’s not FDIC insured, but I’m sleeping better on that pillow that you’d think.
The Office hurts. Just like the truth.
Palin supporters, you’ll love this idea: Since she’s going to be president in a couple of years anyway, elect her by write-in this November!