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I am Geoff Barnes and this here is
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Jan
26th
Thu
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New favorite iPad drawing tool: ArtSet
(via Samarra Khaja & Anna Sauer, whom I now owe, big-time)

New favorite iPad drawing tool: ArtSet

(via Samarra Khaja & Anna Sauer, whom I now owe, big-time)

Jan
25th
Wed
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merlin:

Cozy Starter Home

I dunno. It’s a pretty blue. And I’m sure it’s in a great neighborhood, but it’s probably expensive. And as soon as you have a baby, or your in-laws come for a visit, or even just when you have your boss over for dinner, it’s going to feel cramped. How many bathrooms does this place even have? Seriously, unless you’re an extraordinarily sedentary, single guy with military-grade cleaning and organization abilities, I’d pass on an offer like this, no matter how much you love the color.

merlin:

Cozy Starter Home

I dunno. It’s a pretty blue. And I’m sure it’s in a great neighborhood, but it’s probably expensive. And as soon as you have a baby, or your in-laws come for a visit, or even just when you have your boss over for dinner, it’s going to feel cramped. How many bathrooms does this place even have? Seriously, unless you’re an extraordinarily sedentary, single guy with military-grade cleaning and organization abilities, I’d pass on an offer like this, no matter how much you love the color.

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Even worse,” Barstock continued, “there’s this huge picture of me standing in front of it with Reba. ‘Bout an hour later, my ex old lady sends this nasty email demanding to know why I’m spending all my money at a titty bar instead of giving her more alimony. And I was like, what the hell are you on about, woman? That’s when I learned Google had posted the porno shop on my Google Profile, my Google Maps and my Google Latitude. Then stupid Google+ invited everyone in my circles to join me at The Rusty Bush Erotic Bookshoppe. Jesus H. Tap-dancing Christ!
Jan
24th
Tue
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Seriously, 0 out of 1

Seriously, 0 out of 1

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Jan
19th
Thu
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Game over, everyone. The machines win.

Game over, everyone. The machines win.

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An audience of precisely one laughs uproariously.

An audience of precisely one laughs uproariously.

Jan
18th
Wed
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PROTECT IP / SOPA Breaks The Internet from Fight for the Future on Vimeo.

Tell Congress not to censor the internet NOW! - http://www.fightforthefuture.org/pipa

PROTECT-IP is a bill that has been introduced in the Senate and the House and is moving quickly through Congress. It gives the government and corporations the ability to censor the net, in the name of protecting “creativity”. The law would let the government or corporations censor entire sites— they just have to convince a judge that the site is “dedicated to copyright infringement.”

The government has already wrongly shut down sites without any recourse to the site owner. Under this bill, sharing a video with anything copyrighted in it, or what sites like Youtube and Twitter do, would be considered illegal behavior according to this bill.

According to the Congressional Budget Office, this bill would cost us $47 million tax dollars a year — that’s for a fix that won’t work, disrupts the internet, stifles innovation, shuts out diverse voices, and censors the internet. This bill is bad for creativity and does not protect your rights.

Jan
16th
Mon
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The heat went out at the office today.
So I’m working from home. I sit at the dining room table, and the kids politely tidy up the house in exchange for additional computer time.
“How many minutes can I earn for giving you a back rub,” asks Alex. “Are there any more chores I can do?” The boys read and take turns using the computer like a coin-op salt lick. The house is immaculate. My to-do list is an endangered species. Ommmm.
Parental Controls are my new favorite currency.

The heat went out at the office today.

So I’m working from home. I sit at the dining room table, and the kids politely tidy up the house in exchange for additional computer time.

“How many minutes can I earn for giving you a back rub,” asks Alex. “Are there any more chores I can do?” The boys read and take turns using the computer like a coin-op salt lick. The house is immaculate. My to-do list is an endangered species. Ommmm.

Parental Controls are my new favorite currency.

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It’s like the old days. Like when Sheena Easton would come on the radio on Saturday morning while you were cleaning the bathroom and all you could think about was how many meanings “strut” might have, given the context, and suddenly this phone would ring and you’d freak out and run to pick it up, hoping against hope that it was that girl Tara from the pool, but then your boogery sister got there first and answered in the boogeriest way ever and even if it was Tara calling, your chances with her were ruined now and your sister didn’t even care and by the time you got back to the bathroom, the dog was drinking Comet water from the toilet bowl and the radio was playing some stupid Rick Springfield song and from then on, that song would always remind you of the smell in the emergency room at the animal hospital. Best. Phone. Ever.

Amazon.com: G. M. Barnes “Geoff“‘s review of Cortelco 48044001812 255444-VBA-20MD…

I heard you can make money writing product reviews. Yo, product review needers, let’s do this.